Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
