I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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