All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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