How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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