Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
