It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
