i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
