Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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