Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
either way he was missing a nipple.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
