My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just had sex on a roof
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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