Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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