why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
