It was confusing and full of hummus
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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