he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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