It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
