i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
