So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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