Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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