so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize