Pappa wants mamma naked
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All the doctor said was why
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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