Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
