I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
