I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize