is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize