yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
