that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
