Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
