Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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