I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
