Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
