she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hippo gnu deer
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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