you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
