New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
