Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.