I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?