I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow