i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
