I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
