Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize