This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
