carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
