Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful