cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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