I wish my penis had an off switch
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
