And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think my vagina is haunted
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
