I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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