Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
