not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Everclear isn't food dammit
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
