oh god the rape fog is back!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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