She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
