i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
