the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
