I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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