You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize