just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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