Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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