the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
