We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize