what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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