i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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