My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize