Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
