so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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