I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
