Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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