Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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